Okay, okay. It was just a tree limb.
A tree limb the size of a small tree, of course, but still just a limb.
Audra's fighting off a cold, so I kept her home from daycare yesterday. She's been running a fever basically nonstop, with very little in the way of symptoms otherwise. She's just tired and feverish and doesn't have much of an appetite. Her little body felt like lava when we picked her up in the morning, so we just decided to keep her home.
I went ahead to work and just came home a little early so that Jason would have time to work on a project he badly needs to finish. Just as we made the switchoff and he got all his equipment set up, the sky went from mildly cloudy to very, very dark gunmetal-blue.
While the sky grew darker and darker and thunder began to rumble, Jason looked at all the equipment he had just spent twenty minutes setting up... and brought it all inside again.
When the storm hit, it really did hit. It was a thunderstorm curled up in a fist, a sudden one-two of drenching rain and gusting winds. I watched our Shrubs of Doom in the backyard sway back and forth uneasily from our bedroom window, while Audra piteously fought sleep in her room and our dog lurked as close to us as he physically could get, since approximately three months ago he randomly decided to start being scared of storms one day.
"If any trees are going to get knocked down, it'd be right now," I said out loud, because I like to jinx myself and the universe finds doing this to me just super funny.
About twenty minutes after the storm ended, with Indy out sniffing all the leaves that hadn't been in the yard before, we heard his barking change from his 'curious' sound to his 'warning' bark. Then the doorbell rang.
It didn't wake Audra, who had finally quit fussing and fallen asleep.
If it had, I might have answered the door with a blowtorch.
It was our neighbor, who started up with, "I just pulled in from work and I don't know if you noticed yet..."
Our eyes followed the gesture of his arm to see my car, sitting in the driveway...
Underneath a huge Bradford pear tree limb.
We thanked the neighbor for letting us know, and then we spent a good few minutes just staring at it and taking photos of the damage.
"Your sunroof is basically gone," Jason said.
I took a photo. I took like ten.
Then we looped a rope around the tree branch on my car, tied the rope to the trailer hitch on Jason's old truck, and pulled the stupid thing off in order to get a better look.
"My windshield is basically gone, too," I said.
I took about twenty-seven photos of that, and the glass coating the inside front seats, my wet CD case, just everything.
Then I sat and called our insurance agent. When Jason and I first moved to South Carolina, we were a one-vehicle family after the final roadside death of his tiny Ford Mustang. I basically insured the Mercury Cougar that was at that point our only car up to its neck, and have simply kept up that level of insurance even as we switched over to our newer car last year. So... basically what I'm trying to say is that I pay State Farm enough that they all but offered to send me a limo.
Jason and I stood outside, the baby monitor slung on my jeans pocket so I could hear if Audra woke from her nap, and waited for the tow truck. No fewer than three cars slowed to a crawl as they drove past, and one guy even turned around and came back so he could let us know about his cousin who owns a tree service. The tow truck guy came and also offered to cut up the tree branch for us.
Eventually, after around two straight hours of chainsawing, we had manageable limb pieces and Audra was back asleep.
Jason, our neighbor, and I dragged pieces of the tree to the ditch to clear up the driveway. We finished literally right as it became too dark to go on.
I slept on the couch so that Jason might actually get a decent night's sleep, since otherwise he always wakes up first when Audra fusses at night and he basically hadn't slept in a couple of days.
Between the dog, the cat, and Audra herself I got about three hours of sleep between 11 pm and 3:30 AM, when I finally came in and just laid down in bed.
About five minutes later, Audra started to fuss.
Jason got up and took over, and I slept for two hours like a log until my alarm went off and I dragged myself to find Jason and Audra passed out together on the couch. I took back over and Jason got another hour and a half of sleep before we had to figure out the rental car and getting Audra to her Nana's house for the day so I could go to work.
So that's my newest addition to 2015: Best Summer Ever. Jason losing his job for no reason whatsoever and the Best Road Trip Ever were tough acts to follow, but by God, a tree limb falling on my car definitely made an impression.