Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Those Days


... When you and your baby have been passing a nasty cold back and forth for two weeks, your throat is raw from coughing, the baby isn't sleeping because recovering from an illness apparently removed all her memory of how to sleep at night, you've had something like ninety-two cups of tea in three days... on those days you take what help you can get. Even one small bucket can help bail out a sinking ship, right?

I may have conflicted feelings about daycare some days when I hardly see Audra except when she's doing her bedtime routine at night, but today I could kiss those brightly painted walls. Audra has barely slept at night for the last two days, and we're back to trading sleeping-shifts. I took over last night at 2 a.m. and was able to manage a nice doze-off around 5 a.m., but that was the best I could do. Jason dropped Audra off with the daycare ladies so I was able to go back to bed, and I fell asleep at 8 and woke up an hour later. That one extra hour did magic things. I took my sweet time getting out of bed and felt like a human being for the first time in a week. I still have a nasty itch in my throat and a dry cough, but my throat no longer feels like razorblades are inside of it, so I'm calling this "healing".

I wore pajamas right up until I went to go pick the baby back up. Honestly, I thought about doing the Soccer Mom Uniform and just wearing yoga pants and a loose t-shirt and pretending I'd just come from the gym, but... I probably couldn't pull that off.

Audra and I both seem to be solidly on the mend - the only thing is that she and I both are still wrestling with is a nasty, frequent dry cough. She's wanting to snuggle most of the time and I am definitely willing to help her out with that. I just feel terrible because Jason, also wretchedly sleep deprived, is getting a ton of "honey, would you's" from my place on the couch sipping tea and trying not to speak loudly enough to wake up the sleeping baby on my chest and it's a little like her first days in this world all over again. Only with a lot more coughing and Jason having to go to work.

... and we're out of my favorite whiskey, so hot toddies are just not the same.

Motherhood is something I would never, ever trade but I have a new appreciation for the idea of being able to take a break from life and sleep, as sleeping is the easiest and quickest way for me to feel better when I'm sick. Mothers all over may go back and forth about daycare and sometimes I'm one of those worriers, but today daycare is the reason you are reading this heartfelt treatise on illness and not just a series of random syllables because sleep deprivation has removed my understanding of human language.

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