Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Not the Brightest Button on the Espresso Machine

I have this strange delusion that I like hazelnut flavor more than I actually do.

I have no idea why it is impossible for me to remember I don't actually like it. I don't get it. I could list to you all the foods and flavors I don't like right here and now, and I would probably forget to list hazelnut but I would remember everything else.

Although mostly, I suppose, because the list of foods I don't like is pretty short. I am an equal-opportunity eater of delicious things. Except raw tomatoes, which are gross.

But... I'm missing my own point here.

Let's try again.

I routinely order hazelnut lattes or pour hazelnut creamer (most recently a dairy-free coconut hazelnut creamer I bought for funsies to use at work) into my coffees. I get hazelnut iced coffees. When I get coffee at the gas station, I inevitably end up pouring the hazelnut kind into my cup. I mean, this is a serious, somewhat constant habit of mine.

Then I take a drink and I think, oh wait, I don't actually like this at all.

That doesn't stop me, mind you. I finish it, because I'm a grown-up and I know what money means and how you have to work for it and if I spend money on a coffee drink I am going to finish that drink and get my money out of it, even if I spend the whole time asking, "Why did I do this to myself?"

Then I immediately forget about the whole thing just long enough to order another one.

I like Panera's hazelnut coffee, lots of milk only a little sugar. I drink that whenever I'm there. Maybe that is where the delusion comes from, because I do like this one particular location's hazelnut coffee.

But I don't like hazelnut lattes.

I continue to order them.

I don't like hazelnut creamer, not even the coconut kind.

I continue to pick a carton up to use at work.

This is probably the third time I've bought hazelnut creamer in the past two years.

I think there might be a reason I never made valedictorian in high school...


  1. Maybe you like the smell and that makes you forget about the taste?

    1. That has to be it. But I still can't figure out why I can't remember that I don't like it. It's just something I am physically incapable of keeping inside my head, apparently.


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