Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Because Of Course I Got Sick

This photo is just to trick you into reading my whiny post about being ill.

I went back to work last week, with much angst and general sadness.

Turns out, Audra just loves being with my friend Sarah all day, and Sarah's fantastic mothering skills translate into a baby who's exactly as happy there as she is here. Sometimes, probably happier. Which is both cool and vaguely distressing.

Right. So.

Last Tuesday, I go to work and on my way get a text from my coworker telling me he's sick and he's taking the day off, he'll see me Wednesday. In my head, I think, good, he'll get it out of his system. I'd hate for the baby to get sick.

Well, he didn't get it out of his system. He was back on Wednesday still feeling pretty grody. He powered through, and by this week is feeling pretty much entirely better.

The good news is, the baby didn't get sick.

But Jason and I did!

Saturday afternoon I started to really feel a tickle in my throat, bugging me enough to drink even more water than normal. By Sunday I woke up with a full fledged sore throat and the general inability to do anything other than mumble to myself about how gross I felt. We were moving slow like glaciers all day; an attempt to meet up with Jason's family for lunch "around noon" on Sunday ended up with us arriving to watch a movie with them about an hour later (although delicious pizza was still available. nom.)

Sunday Jason had started to notice he wasn't feeling well either.

Monday I was a pile of misery, and unfortunately Audra chose this weekend to hit her next growth spurt and was a clingy fussbucket. No naps were forthcoming for this new mother; I was too busy holding and rocking and feeding and soothing and cajoling and singing and holding some more. Exactly once during the day, she napped for more than twenty minutes. I took a gloriously steamy shower that made me feel better for exactly the amount of time I spent in the shower, and then I felt like the walking dead again afterward.

I drank endless cups of tea, repeatedly pouring new hot water in as each grew too cool to be much help before I could finish it. I whined. Jason felt grody at work. He came home and I whined at him, and there were tea mugs all over the house and we went to bed like forty minutes early, as soon as the baby was asleep.

I slept like a rock, and felt like I barely slept at all.

I got up today and went into work, and I can't breathe out of my whole face because the whole face... just, the whole thing feels full of awful. There are gremlins in my sinuses and someone gave them water after midnight, basically.

I've had two cups of tea and about three cups of cafe au lait from a local coffee place in the town I work in. Jason and I are going through Kleenex at an incredible rate. Despite said coffee and tea I am exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open. We are coughing and sniffling and sneezing and drinking even more tea.

 Ha! Look! You're still reading! The cute baby photo bribe worked!

Audra, however, is cheerful and bright and smiley and bouncy and just wants us to hold her and talk to her while she coos at us and play with her and have lots of energetic fun!

All we want to do is lie very still and wait for all the horror in our sinuses to leave.

My only solace is that if the baby gets sick, I've already told my coworker that I'm bringing her to work with me and he can deal with taking care of her all day.

Also I get to kick him in the shins. He agreed to this.

This is my consolation.

This is what I cling to, to get me through this plague.

If the baby gets sick, I will have my revenge. 

My weak, flailing revenge.


  1. Aw, hope you're feeling better soon! Enjoy kicking the guy in the shins.

    1. It only took a week to really recover but let me tell you it felt like twelve.

  2. Well at least your skills as a writer are unaffected by your illness! I can FEEL THE GROSSNESS!

    Seriously, I hope you guys are feeling much better.

    1. Yeah. We promptly gave the cold to our friends who watch Audra during the day though. Like, immediately. Audra herself? In perfect health the whole time.


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