Sunday, June 15, 2014

Tomboy Style, Plus One: Week 30


I wore this yesterday, to a class I had to take at our local hospital prior to all the madness that's about to ensue. I was going for "hospitals are usually way too air-conditioned but also it's summer and I'll have to leave the air-conditioning, however briefly, so I should plan for that too."

In a room full of pregnant women, one of two things is going to happen; either everyone will paint a sunshine-and-roses portrait of glowing womanly happiness, trying to outdo each other with how wonderful the process is and our baybeeeees and what not...

or you get what happened in my class yesterday.

There were eleven of us, and we were asked to pick our favorite part about being pregnant.

Every single one of us started our reply by pointing out we weren't really enjoying it all that much at all, and I felt myself breathe a sigh of relief.

Three women described having friends that are in a similar stage as them, and getting to go through the process together as being their favorite part. Most of us said feeling the baby kick or move around.

One very honest woman said getting to eat all the ice cream she wants without feeling guilty.

I had a feeling this was going to be a good class.


Most of the day was a blur of videos and note-taking and a folder with all sorts of gross information in it that we are meant to peruse in order to prepare. The videos were gross, too, but they don't let you take those home with you. My main comfort was that at least it wasn't like the really ridiculous video we had to watch in high school sex ed about "the miracle of birth", which mostly involved a lot of interpretive dancing meant to represent things, leaving us country kids still learning about basically everything from rumors in the hallway.

Although I do have pretty clear memories of the interpretive dancers, because I always wondered what choreographing those things had to be like.

"Okay, now I'm going to represent the sperm, and you represent the egg. What do you think the egg is feeling, now, as it meets the sperm?"

"I... think it's an egg. Eggs don't have feelings."

"Well, what are you feeling?"

"Hungry, mostly. Can we go eat some eggs?"


It was actually a pretty good class, overall. We did breathing exercises and the whole, like, listen to your body and trust your body thing that all the books are telling me. We did have a funny moment, though; after the first video, which profiled three women giving birth and let me tell you, it was just an extravaganza of fun, the woman sitting next to me raised her hand.

"Um. None of those women got an epidural." The class exploded into a series of women muttering that they had noticed the same thing.

The instructor nodded. "Yes, the first video is a little bit more about unmedicated births."

There was an audible murmur of unease throughout the room.

"Okay," The woman next to me continued. "That's good. So... when do we see women who had an epidural?"

 Obviously, we're not entirely confident in those breathing exercises.


In Case You Want to Recreate This Mess:
Cardigan: Target, here
Tank top: Target, here
Skirt: Christopher & Banks, ancient, similar here
Sandals: Minnetonka via TJ Maxx, similar
Necklace: Bought out of my gift shop, similar here
Purse: Ameribag, similar here

4 comments:

  1. Oh man, pregnancy sounds scary! At least you look cute and summery, right? (Found you through GOMI btw.)

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    1. I... look like somethin', that's for sure, haha. Thanks for the compliment!

      Pregnancy is mostly monotonous and boring and uncomfortable, punctuated with moments of this sort of sublime "OH GOD SOMEONE LET ME MAKE A PERSON" fear and awe. I could really take or leave the 'birth' thing, though, that is promising to be no fun at all.

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  2. Those sound like exactly the answers I'd expect in that class! Are there really ladies who show up for that class and describe pregnancy as a woo-woo experience full of purple scarves and fetus inspired mandalas? Anyway, you still look awesome. Those sandals are kickass.

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    Replies
    1. I don't know if there are or not, but I keep seeing them on the internet so I was worried I might have to deal with them in actual life. Even my hippiest, mother-earth-iest friend wasn't like that during her pregnancy, though, so maybe it's an internet-only phenomenon...

      AREN'T THEY JUST. I love Minnetonka sandals so much. And all their shoes. If I had unlimited funds I would just never stop wearing Minnetonka.

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