Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Tomboy Style, of a Sort: Lazy Days

This is seriously the best face I made in the full body shots. Apparently I have forgotten how to face.

I told Jason yesterday that I think this is the last week I can wear these, my favorite pair of jeans. I love them because the denim is so soft that they're like wearing sweatpants. They fit perfectly. I've had them for years. And they cost me $12 at a Walmart in Kentucky back when I worked at the Payday Loan place and was at a "professional development conference", which I really shouldn't put in scare quotes because it really did make me think there was something to that job.

Of course, shortly thereafter I learned that a job that requires you to walk onto someone's private property, bang on the door, and demand they pay you what they owe the company they work for is not actually a job I was cut out to do.



I really do love the jeans. But they are about to go lurk in the darkness along with everything else I own pants-wise that "fits me perfectly". Because it fits perfectly no longer. Just like half my work-pants.

Let's just head right on into what I want to talk about, though.

Maternity clothes.

No, I don't actually own any yet, that's not the point.

My point is that maternity clothes are a racket. There's some kind of Maternity Mafia controlling our access to legitimately cute clothing. I have trolled the internet high and low, a friend of mine and I went into just about every store we could THINK of and discovered that either A. they have no maternity clothing at all, B. they "used to" but decided to stop carrying it, or C. their maternity clothes consisted of a single rack of sweatpants in the most abandoned-looking back corner of the store. Now there are consignment shops, which I figure will come in handy later, and there are those maternity-specific stores. We tried those, too!

You know what we found?

Overpriced see-through pajama pants. Gross tacky novelty shirts that would tell all and sundry far more about where babies come from than I ever wish anyone to hear from me. Threadbare T-shirts that cost $10 more than their non-maternity counterpart at JCPenney. Lots and lots and lots of equally threadbare sweaters. A shocking dearth of work clothing, as apparently all pregnant women sit at home glowing all day and don't have to make a living.

The best options I've found so far have been through Old Navy and the Gap, but even they are distinctly lacking in professional business casual options. The stores that do have work pants want me to pay about as much as I'm going to pay for the damn baby in order to afford their pants.

So if everyone sees me start showing up everywhere in maxi skirts or yoga pants starting around April? You've been warned, and you now know why.

Because maternity clothing is run by the Maternity Mafia, and the Maternity Mafia hates women.

Well, they hate any woman who manages to be pregnant and above a size 2.

Size 2 or lower pregnant women get like three work pants options. Lucky ducks.

I like this outfit so much I'm wearing it two days in a row. No shame whatsoever. Of course, I only wore it yesterday for about two and a half hours while running errands, but I think my lack of shame still stands.

It's all about comfort.

Since I work Tuesdays through Saturdays and I also work for an awesome employer, any federal holidays that fall on a Monday, I get on Tuesday. So I'm celebrating President's Day... by possibly buying a pair of shoes.

Things are just going to get all kinds of wacky around here.

In Case You Want to Recreate This Mess:
Cardigan: JCPenney, ancient (this is basically the same thing)
T-shirt: Target. The softest t-shit in the whole world.
Scarf: Christmas gift
Necklace: Silly little rock necklace we sell out of my shop at work.
Jeans: Walmart. No shame. None at all.
Shoes: Privo by Clarks, which... doesn't exist anymore, I don't think.
Purse: Haiku. Old. This year's prints here.

The colors in this outfit were inspired by my absolute favorite style blogger (and my bloggy-friend) Franziska over at Franish. I aspire to one day look half as put-together as she does.


  1. You should check target if you have one near you. I was pregnant last year (delivered the end of September) and late winter/early spring they had decent dress pants in the <$50 range. In fact for most of my pregnancy I lived in Target maternity clothes. I think we are probably pretty similarly sized and I had good luck with Target. Old Navy and Gap are good but at least in my local stores they had a terrible selection for anything over a size M in store. I'd be more than happy to talk to you about it more without commandeering your comments section if you want.

    1. Feel free to commandeer! The more people who can be helped by this advice, the better, as far as I'm concerned :)

      I looked at Target recently but the selection at my local store was AWFUL. I'm wondering if I should wait until a little more into actual spring and see what's there. When I went it was all winter clearance dresses, and I don't really wear dresses. I really only want to buy a couple pairs of pants, enough to get me through, a dress for any dress-up occasions. I'm thinking 2 -3 pairs work pants, 2 pairs casual jeans, 1 pair shorts (I don't wear shorts very much). I already have some maxi skirts that I think I can wear straight through. And I've just bought enough sandals at JcPenney that I should probably go ahead and buy stock.

      ON I was really disappointed in, actually; I looked online but it seemed like their work pants all had TERRIBLE reviews.

    2. Sooooo... I'm apparently terrible about checking back after I've commented. Blog reader fail!

      Definitely keep checking Target and if you have more than one in the area check them all because in Raleigh (where I live) it varies from store to store.

      I am not a dress person either, at least not a casual dress person, but pregnancy made a convert of me. I lived in dresses or skirts but I highly recommend at least 2 pairs of short. By June I was so sick of my thighs touching that I was ready to burn all of my dresses and skirts. I also can't recommend Old Navy's maternity leggings highly enough. With a tunic or even a non-maternity knit dress and a pair of sandals it looks cute for work or dressing up and is so very comfortable. Don't even bother with the store, just buy online. I preferred the full coverage even before I started really showing but I think they have high- and low-waisted options. I lived in my leggings and after I delivered they were great. They held up well after lots of wear and washing.

      Motherhood Maternity, if I recall correctly, did free shipping from time to time and had a pretty decent return policy so I used them quite a bit and just ordered a bunch of stuff and returned what didn't work.

      Here's pretty much what I wore for maternity clothes (that I remember):

      2 knit maxi dresses (Target)
      3 Sleeveless dresses
      1 Short sleeve, dressy dress
      2 pairs of shorts
      1 pair of jeans
      2 short knit skirts
      2 maxi skirts
      1 tunic (made from button-up shirt material)
      6 tanks (these are amazing after you have the baby too)
      3 short-sleeve shirts
      1 3/4 sleeve shirt
      2 pairs of ON maternity leggings

      I could probably have done without one of the maxi dresses and one of the maxi skirts. The tanks and t-shirts from Target I still wear. They weren't ruched on the sides, just cut a little longer and a little fuller in the body and they are great for nursing, layering or more casual wear. I traded my maternity leggings for non-maternity leggings but they're still a staple in my wardrobe.

      And... once again I've written a novel in your comments section. Sorry.

  2. Dana says December found her maternity clothes at ON and Motherhood Maternity. Christina might have some suggestions. I'd buy some capris because you will be HOT in jeans. Can you wear capris to work? Otherwise, I've got nothin'...Christina & I looked a lot of places for a nursing bra for her student's mom who had a baby and was displaced by the Washington tornado all at the same time. WalMart, maybe?

    1. The only good stuff I found at the maternity store in the mall was the Pea in the Pod stuff, which is insanely high-priced for what it is. I did like a lot of it, but it needed to cost about half as much as it did... and they still didn't have much in the way of work options.

      The big frustration is that so few places have maternity section anymore! I'm just supposed to order all this stuff online and pay for it without being able to try it on. I know I can send it back if it doesn't fit, but it's really frustrating nonetheless when I just want to try some damn pants on.

      I can't wear capris, no. I might be able to GET AWAY WITH IT, since i'm pretty sure by the time I'm showing I could wear PJ's and no one would say a word, but it would be out of dress code, as would capris. I can get away with full-length jeans because it's a rural county.

      I do plan to buy some capris for summer casual time, though. And maybe a pair of shorts, but I don't like shorts in general and I don't know if that'll change by then.

  3. Yeah, I'm sure the whole market is one big racket -- any opportunity a company has to convince you that you NEED to buy new stuff is bound to become a racket, right? I don't know a lot about what's out there, but I do know that Asos.com has a maternity line! And Asos is the shit. I don't know what the prices are like but Asos always has a pretty bangin' clearance section.

    1. I feel like it's because they have this captive audience - like, women WILL need new clothing, so let's sell them the bottom of the barrel cheapest-shit-we-could-throw-together for the highest possible price wheeeee!

      I can say I did order some pants from Gap and they are the best. jeans. ever. So there is that. I will go look at Asos, too!


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