Saturday, February 8, 2014

Did Someone Say Bacon?

A girl & her sugar. It's heartwarming, really.

So yesterday, my workplace sent out an email that a local group was doing a fundraiser breakfast. For $5, you got a full southern breakfast - biscuits and gravy, sausage, bacon, eggs, pancakes... the whole works.

For five dollars.

My response may have involved more drool than words, but you bet I was there this morning before work rarin' to go.

It was a local Senior Center doing the fundraising; they're trying to finish their auditorium and then the building will be done. I'm a fan of giving money to good causes and receiving food in return.


So I walked in, and this sweet older woman took my five dollars and gave me a ticket. I dropped the ticket in a little bowl, got myself a cup of coffee, and magic happened.

A platter appeared before me, laden with food, all but groaning under its weight.

I did notice that everyone serving the food was older, too, but hey; senior center, right?

I went to sit down, and realized, with my fork halfway to my mouth full of that delicious first biscuit-and-gravy-bite, that I was the youngest person in the room.

By about thirty years.

And at least ten people were staring at me.

The downside to the situation was having to explain to at least four people that no, I wasn't related to anyone here, I just wanted me some bacon. And also I like giving people money for good reasons. Also... bacon.

The upside is that I basically ate breakfast in a room just chock-full of grandmothers, and they all did what grandmothers are apparently genetically coded to do.

Three women asked if I needed more coffee. Two more asked if I wasn't sure I didn't need more food, I was just skin and bones!

(If you've ever met me, the one thing I am not and have never been is 'skin and bones'. We don't do 'skin and bones' in our family, we do cookies and pie. Ooooh, and buffalo chicken dip. We do that, too.)

A fifth woman wanted to let me know that my necklace was "just darling".

A sixth asked me where my coat was, and when I told her I'd left it in the car, advised I needed to be careful or I'd catch my death of cold.

It was forty-two degrees outside. I explained I was born in Illinois and have a hard time keeping a coat on in temperatures like that and she tsked. "Well, you're in the South now, honey, make sure you keep that coat on," She said kindly, patting me on the arm.

When I was walking out the door, three of them called out goodbyes and one told me to watch for the paper for more fundraising events because I was just too sweet not to come by and have a bit more time to chat.

I wanted to hug them all.

You just can't be sad in a room full of grandmothers.

You'll never go hungry, either.

On my way out I bought some homemade apple butter, because it was only $5 for a big jar and it took all my willpower not to just eat it with a big spoon for lunch.

Because I'm a sucker for giving nice people my money.

Especially when bacon is involved.


  1. Aw geeze, that's pretty adorable. Honestly, I really think it's cool that you were into going to this thing just to eat some good food and support a good cause and be among nice people. Don't a lot of us get a heretofore undiagnosed social anxiety disorder when someone suggests going into a room of new people before noon? Maybe just me, but I also miss a lot of breakfast events because it takes me forever to sleep (which extrapolates to being a big, lazy whiner in the AM). Anyway, this anecdote brightened my day.

    1. Haha it was really awkward at first, as I was sitting at a table by myself. Apparently grandmothers don't let you be awkward, either. I seriously had no idea I would be the only younger person there! I figured, dude, ALL THIS FOOD FOR FIVE DOLLARS, why wouldn't everyone hit it up? But no.

      Yeah, I will say that if I had not been working I wouldn't have made it. I may consider myself a good person, but if I get the option to sleep 'til 8 I am takin' it, deserving old people offering me breakfast or not.

  2. How on earth can they raise funds for $5!? Christ, I'd be all over that like a tramp on chips. It sounds adorable though, I've always wanted to visit Southern America (is that what I mean? I mean the south of North America, with the accents and all the chaps who insist on calling everyone 'ma'am'.)

    1. Hahahaha the South is an exciting place to live when you're not from there, because people are flabbergasted by what excites you. When I discovered grits could be GOOD (you know, if you add enough butter, cheese, shrimp, and sausage to them) I was completely floored.

      I have no idea how they're doing it but I am happy to help!

  3. And by 'chips', of course I mean fries. ;)


Comments make the world go round - please leave your thoughts and I'll make it my goal to answer!