Monday, December 23, 2013

I Am Truly A Profound Philosopher

Blow-drying your hair is kind of ridiculous, as a concept, right?

I mean. I get out of the shower, squint at myself, and then plug in a big hot fan that I point at my head for several minutes, while frantically brushing to keep the tangles from just taking over and turning my whole head into the patch of thorns the hyenas throw Simba into in the Lion King. Eventually, when I can't stand it anymore, I turn it off, hope my hair is dry, and go eat breakfast.

I do this every morning, mostly.

It takes several minutes. By the end of my life I'll have spent hours drying my hair.

Probably whole days.

When really, I could have spent that time getting five or ten extra minutes of sleep. I'd tell you I could have spent that time learning quantum physics or disproving the law of gravity or something, but let's be honest here; I'd just go back to bed and we all know it.


Rather than stay in bed - that nice warm place where I would happily spend every morning until around 9 am if our mortgage company would start accepting hand-drawn doodles instead of money as payment - I drag myself up, take a shower, and I point a hot fan, making an unpleasant noise similar to the vacuum monster, at my head for ten minutes.

Really... it's baffling.

1 comment:

  1. Not to keep playing my "Northerner" card, but the discomfort of walking around (let around leaving the house) with wet hair when it's 20 degrees out is one of maybe four or five things in the world that I'd sacrifice sleep to avoid.

    I get what you mean though. I've got a better solution though. I only shower like once a week. I get by in between with whore's baths (is there a polite word for those?!), and a little babypowder in the hair. You'd be amazed how your body acclimates to this within a week or two, and produces way less of the gunk we take showers to wash off.

    You also get in like 20 extra minutes of sleep -- it's AMAZING.


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