There is someone who keeps tagging things on the Swamp Rabbit Trail, up near Travelers Rest, with this.
For the longest time, I thought it was the word 'Argyle'... as in argyle shirt patterns, vests, stuff like that. And I kept trying to imagine what kind of person would pick 'argyle' as their Hardcore Graffiti Artist Name. Maybe he just really likes vests, I thought, or maybe he doesn't even know what argyle is and thinks it's some kind of venomous snake in Australia.
I have this mental image of Argyle, the Mad Tagger of Travelers Rest, spray-painting his name on every conceivable flat surface while pushing his taped-together glasses back up and making sure his suspenders are tight enough. After he's done being super hardcore, Argyle goes home to play video games and tell people on the internet what a super-cool graffiti artist he is.
Then I realized...
Argue is the word spray-painted there, not Argyle.
This isn't in any way the name of Argyle the Mad Tagger of Travelers Rest.
This is some kid with a can of spray paint out there thinking that spraying a word like 'argue' on the side of a clock off the Swamp Rabbit Trail will somehow cause the runners, walkers, cyclists, and various and sundry assorted animals they bring with them to really, y'know, think, man. About, like, the world.
And you know, good for you, kiddo. Although I mostly want to argue with you about why you'd spray paint your super-helpful suggestion on something put up by the city for the public good and not on, like, an empty brick wall or something. Ooooh, or a tree. Wouldn't that be super-political and whatnot.
Honestly, though, whoever you are, I'm not annoyed at you. Not really.
What I'm really annoyed about is that it wasn't Argyle, after all. You don't even understand how happy the idea of Argyle made me.
There's no bespectacled graffiti artist sneaking out in the middle of the night between Bioshock Infinite levels or quantum physics discussions, sweater-vest always on, trying to make his mark on the world. There's no 15-year-old Mathlete just hoping to overhear someone asking, Who is Argyle, anyway? No taped-together glasses, no suspenders, no nerd-graffiti-subculture in Upstate South Carolina headed up by the shadowy figure of Argyle.
This makes me sadder than you can ever know.