Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Stay Out

So yesterday, I received a packet from Montana in the mail.

Yes, the state.

No, I have no idea why Montana is sending me packets. It was sent to my name and address, though, so clearly Montana is interested in knowing things about me.

Anyway, I look at the plastic bag it came in, and this is the first thing I see:


Stay out of Montana...?

That's kind of rude. How could they know to ban me from the state yet, I've never even been there!

I mean, at least give me a chance to prove I'm only going to make a spectacle of myself first!

... and why would you send a highway map along with your "KEEP OUT" packet? What kind of people are running their visitors' bureau exactly? "Here is all our natural beauty that you will never experience, bwa hahahahahaha!"

Rude, right?

Then I opened said packet, and this is what it actually says:


Step out of bounds.

Oh.

Well, that's much nicer.

That explains everything, right?

Except for how exactly they got my name and address and why they want me to come and visit when I'll only give them cause to regret it.

Although I guess they don't know that yet.

Ssshhh.

Don't tell Montana about me, okay?

I want them to be surprised.

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