Friday, January 18, 2013

A Strange Thing


This morning, after four straight days of rain, South Carolinians woke up to discover some sort of satellite hovering in the sky.

Attempts to contact the satellite went unanswered. It is not stationary, but its movements are slow and seemingly constant. It was first sighted in the east.

Some suggested the satellite is Russian in origin, others that the United States government is responsible, that the satellite is some sort of spy machine keeping track of South Carolina's movements.



The satellite is giving off some sort of bright glow, making it impossible to look directly at it or gain any details of its structure, makeup, or mission.

Its presence, nonetheless, is welcome, as it seems to go along with the sudden and unexpected reappearance of the sky.

 It turns out the sky is blue; this came as a welcome reminder to South Carolinians who had begun to think that perhaps they had been mistaken in childhood and the sky was supposed to always be gray and awful.

Attempts to contact Governor Nikki Haley went unanswered, and local government officials had only this to say:

 
 
"Y'all, that is the sun. You remember the sun, right?"
 
No comment.
 
This is intrepid reporter Katie, signing off so she can go frolic in the light.

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