Friday, September 28, 2012

Thought Heard Said Read

Things I have been thinking, seeing, hearing, or saying over the last few days:

My marriage can survive anything. Exhibit A: sweater-vests.

"Stop right there with the simile. There's no use conjuring up imagery I'll only have to repress later."

Edwin Outwater doesn't sound like a name so much as a very British description of the tides.

"Jason, if you keep this up, I am going to stick lettuce down your pants!"
"No problem. Lettuce makes a fine insulation in the winter."

"Half-Ton Aunt Too Fat to be Real Killer." This is seriously on the front page of CNN. I am never reading CNN ever again.

"Well, it's really more of a white wine dinner, but all we have is red wine."
"Katie, you know what you get when you drink red wine with a white wine dinner?"

As I thought this, I looked up and caught sight of my toddler. He was chewing on a piece of balsa wood that I think belonged to his brother's kite. He looked up at me thoughtfully, as if to say, beg your pardon? Don't mind me; I just thought I'd take a break from gnawing at your electrical cords as if I were a rodent.

"Coffee is the nectar of the gods."
"Coffee is the nectar of the Axis of Evil."
"... are you calling me evil?"

"I've decided that until I set eyes on him again, he's a myth. A person we all collectively invented but cannot conclusively prove."

Target's website and I disagree wholeheartedly over what color this sweater is. 

 "I'll teach you to shoot."
"I'll faint. That's a promise. Or squeal. Or hit myself in the face."


  1. I used to think we could survive anything. Anything. And then I got the damned cancer diagnosis this past March. And it's been hell since. No toddlers in my life - hey, have some kids, older children! - but my will feels like a toddler: clumsy, tentative, in need of an afternoon nap.

    Beautiful post. Makes me think. About wine, which I which I had but I can't take with my meds right now. About my missing breast. About my falling hair. About the miles and years and stories that accumulate behind us.


  2. Okay my post reads like I had a vat of wine. Sorry for the typos!

  3. Birdie- Wine is good for the soul, even in vat form ;)


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