Friday, September 28, 2012

Thought Heard Said Read

Things I have been thinking, seeing, hearing, or saying over the last few days:

My marriage can survive anything. Exhibit A: sweater-vests.

"Stop right there with the simile. There's no use conjuring up imagery I'll only have to repress later."

Edwin Outwater doesn't sound like a name so much as a very British description of the tides.

"Jason, if you keep this up, I am going to stick lettuce down your pants!"
"No problem. Lettuce makes a fine insulation in the winter."

"Half-Ton Aunt Too Fat to be Real Killer." This is seriously on the front page of CNN. I am never reading CNN ever again.

"Well, it's really more of a white wine dinner, but all we have is red wine."
"Katie, you know what you get when you drink red wine with a white wine dinner?"
"What?"
"Drunk."

As I thought this, I looked up and caught sight of my toddler. He was chewing on a piece of balsa wood that I think belonged to his brother's kite. He looked up at me thoughtfully, as if to say, beg your pardon? Don't mind me; I just thought I'd take a break from gnawing at your electrical cords as if I were a rodent.

"Coffee is the nectar of the gods."
"Coffee is the nectar of the Axis of Evil."
"... are you calling me evil?"

"I've decided that until I set eyes on him again, he's a myth. A person we all collectively invented but cannot conclusively prove."

Target's website and I disagree wholeheartedly over what color this sweater is. 

 "I'll teach you to shoot."
"I'll faint. That's a promise. Or squeal. Or hit myself in the face."

3 comments:

  1. I used to think we could survive anything. Anything. And then I got the damned cancer diagnosis this past March. And it's been hell since. No toddlers in my life - hey, have some kids, older children! - but my will feels like a toddler: clumsy, tentative, in need of an afternoon nap.

    Beautiful post. Makes me think. About wine, which I which I had but I can't take with my meds right now. About my missing breast. About my falling hair. About the miles and years and stories that accumulate behind us.

    xo

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  2. Okay my post reads like I had a vat of wine. Sorry for the typos!

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  3. Birdie- Wine is good for the soul, even in vat form ;)

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