Saturday, April 21, 2012

Well, I'm Off to a Good Start

So I woke up at 4 AM to what I can only describe as a clatter. Some sort of loud crashing noise, as though some precariously balanced pile of porcelain, glass, and some other kind of breakable object had just been pushed over.

I sat straight up in bed, my brain leaping immediately to intruder alert, intruder alert, andlooked over at Jason. My husband was still completely asleep. I sat very still, just in case the evil noise was coming back (what?! I only just woke up, rationality hadn't kicked in yet) and finally got up to check it out.

Which, granted, only involves putting my glasses on and leaning out the door to the bedroom, which allows me to see the entire rest of our tiny apartment.

Nothin'.

It occurred to me, at this point, that I was probably dreaming, and I dreamed a noise so loud I woke myself up.

Amusingly, this is not the first time this has happened.

In any case, I laid back down to go to sleep... at which point our cat, always the opportunist, decided that my new status of 'grudgingly and angrily awake' meant that it was definitely time for petting. She walked on me, meowed so loudly I was worried that this, and not the imaginary evil noise, would be what woke Jason up. He did in fact start to shift around and sigh.

So I petted the cat.

When she finally decided she was happy with the arrangement as it stood and laid down herself, I started to settle back down into sleep...

and then my nose was, quite suddenly, completely stuffed up and I couldn't breathe. So I got up to go deal with that, and by the time I laid back down again, Jason had started to snore. I stared at him for a minute or so, willing him to roll over. I thought, as loudly as I could, If ever we had some kind of mental connection, you will hear me ask you to roll onto your side.

As if in response, there was a moment of sweet, sweet silence. I closed my eyes.

Then he settled himself even more onto his back and snored louder.

So I'm up now writing this.

A few minutes ago, Jason came wandering out of the bedroom.

"It's only 5:30," I said. "Go back to sleep."

He immediately did a U-turn and went to head back into the bedroom. Then he stopped. "Wait, why are you up?"

So I explained the whole story to him.

"Funny," He said. "That's what happened to me yesterday."

I should feel some solidarity at this, but mostly I'm just hoping that when he said that, he didn't mean that I snore.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the comedy of errors that was my morning thus far. I've been up since 4 AM and I have to work today. These two things can only end well when combined, right?

... right?


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