Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day


My father and I at my wedding in August, 2008.

I am not the most traditional of people. My family can be fairly traditional, and my father definitely is. When the planning for my wedding was going on, my dad and I had a couple of arguments. One of them was over my insistence on not using a preacher: instead, my brother-in-law, who is a fantastic writer and someone I deeply and dearly respect and love like he's a blood relative (which, in my family, once you're married to one of us you ARE one of us, that's just how it is) got himself legal to officiate and did my wedding. Dad is a traditionalist, and he's a Christian, so the lack of a preacher made him a little uneasy. I can understand that.

One thing that I had generally been uneasy with, myself, is the concept of someone's father walking them down the aisle and 'giving them away'. I've never considered myself my father's property, and that is what the 'giving your daughter away' thing always kind of looked like to me. I considered, for all of a heartbeat, not having anyone walk me down the aisle.

Really, it wasn't about anyone feeling like I was anyone else's property. It was about acknowledging that my father has been a tower standing tall in my life. Once I really thought about it, the choice became an obvious one... or really not a choice at all. To not acknowledge how important my dad was and still is and always, always will be in my life would have been to do him a great disservice.

We had a couple of disagreements, for sure. But I am my father's child, and one thing we do very well when we're in the same room is disagree on basically everything.

Another thing I inherited is that I am stubborn as an angry mule when I decide something is a big deal to me. So I got my brother-in-law officiating, and my dad got to walk me down the aisle. By the time the wedding day came, I would not have gone through with it if he hadn't been there to do so.

Honestly, this story really isn't going anywhere. I just wanted to tell everybody that I love my dad.

So... the end.

Happy Father's Day.

I just realized I didn't do one of these for Mother's Day, did I? I am a bad daughter. I WILL FIX THIS. Give me time to come up with a fun Mom story.

Mine is an evil laugh.

4 comments:

  1. Loving one's parents no matter how crazy they make you is definitely recommended...what you wrote here has me thinking about the lyrics of a Kanye West song where he says...

    ...if you admire somebody you should gon' 'head tell 'em/people never get the flowers while they can still smell 'em...

    ...not a Kanye fan but telling someone especially a parent that you LOVE them is gotta be the equivalent of giving them a 1000 roses...Thanks for sharing (^_^)

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  2. ...the Dad giving the daughter away to me is more about the fact he held your heart, he was the man of your world, until another man came and won your heart for himself. So it is not about a possession, but more that your heart is like a prize.

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  3. you are so cute ... love this story and how you just wrote it like it is ...
    straight from your heart ... and it is easy to see that you do love and appreciate your dad and your mom a LOT!
    thanks so much for visiting and leaving such a kind comment, katie ...
    wishing you sunshine today ~
    prairiegirl

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  4. Dasuntoucha: Hey, cool to see you commenting here :) Thanks for the comment! I'm not much of a Kanye fan but I definitely like that set of lyrics.

    Missy: Oh, I kind of get that better now that I've made the decision I did at my wedding, but throughout my teenage years and even into my early twenties I was always kind of concerned that it seemed very possessive: you belonged to your father, now you belong to your husband, kind of. And that's what the gesture is rooted in, history-wise. But just because something has a problematic history doesn't mean I can't keep up a gesture that is acknowledging my dad's love for me, you know? It was a learning experience for me on not letting negative history get in the way of something special.

    PG: Oh wow, it's so cool to see you here! Haha, I read about someone in a magazine and then they leave a comment on my blog. It's a starstruck moment for me. Thank you for leaving a comment, and of course I love looking at the photos you take for your blog!

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