I love the whole world and its craziness

So, an update:

I don't have a job right now. Haven't had one since November 20th. Walmart went on a hiring freeze. Jason asked about it and it was probably literally the day after my interview. So... boo.

I've applied to a few jobs, had a couple of interviews. I interviewed with Pepsi Midamerica on Monday, haven't heard anything back yet. I did a teller test for a bank that I know I passed, but I don't know any updates yet other than that.

So mostly I hang around the house cooking too much cranberry sauce, doing the dishes, and spinning in circles singing songs I love way too loud.

So, please keep me in your thoughts while I look for a job, but don't worry about my mood. For the moment, we're lovely.

One of those days

I don't feel well, Jason works all evening so I won't get to see him, and a conversation in the early afternoon put me in a very bad mood.

Argh.

At least Walmart called about hiring me back.

Food food food

Last night I re-affirmed that thing I always tell Jason about Midwestern women... if there is anything we can cook well, and that we need no recipe for, it's a casserole. I made a Mexican chorizo and cheese casserole with black beans, corn, and tomatoes last night. It was incredibly delicious, no recipe required!

Just throw stuff in a casserole dish and cook it. I like that kind of cooking.

One of my customers at work recently had her mother die, and she came in to pay her bill with us and we were talking about the funeral/the visitation... and my customer said her fridge is full to the brim of casseroles that people brought so that no one would have to worry about cooking anytime soon, and she's got a couple more in the freezer. I thought, well, that sounds about right.

Here it comes, the breeze will blow away

I am back from my trip to Kentucky, with awareness of a couple of things. I am aware of how energized I could be about my job (and really, I kind of was today) and how far I have to go before I have any kind of real job security. I need to work harder, work smarter, and be more organized about what I'm doing. So I threw myself headlong into work today and the only problem was that I didn't have enough time!

I had a giant pile of things still left undone from my week away when I got back, but I didn't have a choice. I left half an hour late as it was, and I wasn't willing to stay until six the day after I got back. I suppose I could have, though.

Monday will be a crazy day, but at least my CSR will be coming in to help me. An internal auditor (someone with the company) may or may not be going through our whole district next week. She's hit at least two stores. I was freaked out when the state auditor came, but auditors with the company are apparently much harder on us.

As they probably should be.

I am still tired, and I never really unpacked my suitcase, and I just want to curl up in sweatpants under a blanket and nap away my day.

I drove home yesterday from Lexington, KY. I went five hours straight, and I didn't stop once. Thus I know now that I can make it to Lexington or from Lexington on one tank of gas if I am very, very careful, do not stop, and do not speed enough to knock down my gas mileage.

But I made it home early enough that I was there to greet my husband when he got back from work, which was the goal.

I am le tired.

Must... unpack... suitcase...

Tired

It's been a good Sunday. Jason and I woke up a little later than usual. We made zucchini fried in blue cornmeal for breakfast, then I drank some coffee with pumpkin-spice creamer and we went for a walk. It was blazing sunny but the wind kept things a little chill. We wandered down the road about two and a half miles and came back.

For those who don't know, Jason and I live a little bit towards the country. We're technically just a little outside of Carbondale, though still within city limits. So we went for a walk down the country lane that is our street, past the little neighborhood of houses we live in. You cross a stone bridge and then you're out in the fields and the farmland.

There were two planes circling around overhead, small things, like buzzing bees.

We saw a lot of fuzzy caterpillars, which Jason wasn't used to seeing in such numbers. I told him the old wives' tale about really thick fuzz on the caterpillars meaning a cold winter, and he thought I was crazy.

We saw a couple of wolf spiders with babies riding on their backs (lots of floating baby spiders in the air today, too). We actually saw a brown recluse on the road, but we were far enough away that he didn't notice us. Lots of grasshoppers and an insane amount of butterflies.

We saw a spotted turtle sunning himself in the road and moved him over onto a part of the concrete that cars were less likely to drive on.

We looked at weeds and we walked and it was really nice.

Like Jason said, days like this are the reason we keep going to work; so that we can have them, worry-free. I'm on coffee-cup-number-two (decaf now) and have a couple of candles burning.

We may be getting a second cat. I don't know yet; hopefully the Humane Society will get ahold of me tomorrow. His name is Pumpkin and we saw him in the little area they have for pets they're trying to adopt out at Petco.

Autumn is here!

The leaves are turning! Always exciting. Cool enough to wear a sweater much of the time. I'm happy to get all my winter stuff out.

I've also learned my company will be sending me to Lexington, Kentucky at the end of October for a managerial thing. I am both excited and sad to be gone for a whole week. I get to go live in a hotel Monday through Friday. October 26-30 or so.

Hmmn...

Yaaaaawwwwnnn

So, life is okay. Better update tomorrow before work, I hope. I've just been cleaning a lot and I'm a bit out of inspiration for what to write.

Good morning

Had coffee out on the patio with Jason while we read books and the cat prowled around. Need to do the dishes, oh wow do I need to do the dishes. Stupid chores.

After that, lunch and making cookies for our friends when we go to hang out this afternoon.

All in all, it's been a lovely weekend.

Sometimes, life as a grownup sucks

My district manager came to see us Wednesday and Thursday. He did a "center audit" those two days- IE, he checked up on lots of stuff to see if we were running our center efficiently and doing the best we could.

We were not.

We, in fact, probably had the worst audit I can imagine us having. There were so many things that had been let to slide, or that I had not known about (the district I trained in had different rules about some things and was apparently lax about others). I am worried.

The DM is not really talking to me about it just yet. He had originally planned to leave the audit on my desk, for us to discuss when I got to work today. I got there and it wasn't there. I called him and asked if we were going to talk about it, and he said that we would talk about it "later", this nebulous "later" that has no definition and no timeline.

This could mean several things. One is that he is planning to fire me when we discuss it, and would prefer to do so face-to-face. I am inclined to think this is not the case, as I think he would have done so immediately, but you never know with bosses. Another is that he got caught up with some other business (he is, after all, the DM for ten stores) and didn't finish it at the time, and hasn't yet, and won't talk to me until he does. The final one is simply that he has it done, but he doesn't want to discuss it with me while he is in other stores in the district and the managers of those stores might overhear what he says.

I am worried that I might lose this new job. I actually enjoy it, most of the time, so I'm a little more concerned about it than I might usually be. I clearly messed up; most of this is directly my responsibility, honestly. I was not as detail-oriented as I could have been. I have already begun the process of fixing those mistakes I am aware of.

In short, I would appreciate it if my family and loved ones prayed or sent good vibes or whatever that I keep my job.

I'm going to eat this delicious pizza my husband made now, and try not to be fearful or depressed.

Guilty Pleasure

This new decaffinated fake vanilla bean latte mix stuff I got from Wal-Mart. So delicious... so deliciously not at all coffee-like.

Yay!

My parents are coming today!

Now I have to go get ready for a super-short day at work. Which is less exciting. And my husband works 2 PM to 10 PM, so I guess Sunday is our serious Family Bonding Day. But my parents are coming today!

Robin, we got your letter dealie!

never stand between the reservation and the corporate banks

SO

plans for the next two weeks:

1. Pay rent + mediacom bill
2. Put down deposit for cruise, discuss more details with travel agent
3. clean house due to imminent parental arrival on the 5th
4. Keep going to my job.
5. read more books, because lord knows I don't yet read enough
6. do something about the four empty water bottles sitting next to my computer for no reason whatsoever
7. have incredibly complicated daydreams about winning the lottery, but never actually buy a lottery ticket because a. you never win and b. Jason would probably blow a gasket...
8. try to stop sweating so darn much. Why is it so hot? WHY?

Apparently the temp is supposed to drop like nearly forty degrees between Sunday morning and Monday morning. I am looking forward to this. IT NEEDS TO BE FALL NOW. I dislike heat. And I hate humidity.

WHY am I moving to south carolina again?

Oh wait, yeah, there's people there I like. People with air conditioning.

Jason and I were randomly trolling apartment rental sites based in greenville sc and I kept asking why no one was mentioning if they had air conditioning or not, and Jason replied, "Because in South Carolina, air conditioning is part of basic living conditions."

Things I Need to Do

I find myself randomly trolling apartment-renting websites for Greenville, SC. Or looking at the monster.com ads. There's no point, there's no way I would be starting the job hunting process this far in advance, but I do like to dream. Current focus of dreams: printing company or publishing company. They've got to have printing companies down south, right? Maybe they need someone to color in the little pictures...

But as much as I'm actually kind of enjoying my job, I don't want to do this when I get to SC. It's definitely the kind of job that can burn you out fast, and I don't really want to get there.

Parents coming to visit Labor Day weekend... I'm hoping they're be able to stay for more than one day? Who knows.

Just gonna drink my coffee and get ready for work, I suppose.

Macomb to McLean

I drive east on 136
on crumbling asphalt
roads twist
and turn

around and through
those small towns;
could be any small town
peeling siding, broken porches

unmowed lawns whose weeds pray
for another day of rain
up one small hill, barely a rise at all
you don't even feel the fall as you head down

into the last remnants of
the great forests
that kept the land secret
before along came saws to tear down the trees

plowed into the hills
we called the land conquered
for the sake our Manifest Destiny
claimed it was only waiting for us to arrive

The old trees reach for each other
over the bits of road I drive on
like prisoners reaching
for contact through the bars

The fields stretch endless to the horizon
my heart leaps, my veins beat
this is the world I know most
this is the land I love best

old farmhouses with barns out back
precarious lean, losing paint
a woman shades her eyes
to see if she recognizes this stranger's car

the road straightens out
bored teenagers speed past me
looking for any way out
of these stretching fields

I don't go fast on this old highway
there is simply too much to see here
I settle into the old rhythm
driving to a house that is no longer

home.

Watch Me Turn Into a Stepford Wife

I have been mulling over a possible grocery list all morning. I plan to go on a massive grocery buying spree after we've gotten all the piles of boxes and stuff moved on the 15th... there's just something so nice about filling up a kitchen with food when you've moved somewhere new. And we're going to -splurge- on these groceries...

Anyway, I love grocery lists. And buying groceries.